My Tutor’s report.
My revised film as a result of my Tutor’s comments.
I have received my report for assignment V which I have linked above.
As a result of his critique, I have re-edited my film by cutting some footage; replacing some; adding and removing some soundtracks.
From 00:00:00 – 00:01:40
My tutor’s criticism was on my use of the Dutch-angle and a trebly dialogue.
There wasn’t anything I could do about the dutch-angle as I could not re-shoot; so I decided to remove the blur in order for it to look less of a dream and I adjust the sound which I hope is better.
00:01:40 – 00:02:21
My tutor suggested I shorten this scene to make it sharper and add a wide shot. This I did; but I only had a short piece of footage for the wide shot.
00:-2:21 – 00:03:44
My tutor criticised my over use of the cross-dissolves and suggested adding some wind effects. He also suggested that I altered the nursery ryhme to sound as if it is being carried on the wind by making it echo, with it perhaps getting louder as the film develops. With a little playing around I came up with an echo that I hope works.
00:03:44 – 00:04:18
My tutor wasn’t sure about this scene, suggesting trying cutting it out.
I looked at this; but I preferred to cut it down instead leaving in the one shot of a dark figure standing someway off behind him on the beach. I also added the sound of wind but altered it to reflect the new more open location.
00:04:18 – 00:05:57
My tutor felt that I needed to adjust the exposure settings and perhaps add a vignette to tone down the lighting add make it a more claustrophobic space and add the sound of the light switch. He also criticised the abrupt camera movement.
I have attempted to amend this scene by replacing the shot with the abrupt movement and re-adjusting the exposure settings in the colour-pallet and I have also added a vignette that has also helped and added the sound for the light switch.
00:05:57 – 00:07:33
My tutor comments on a quick shot of the protagonists walking stick landing on the gravel and the shots of my ghost. He suggested I either cut the ghost or do something about the sound.
I removed to shot of the walking stick and shortened the shots of the ghost and replaced the sound with something more scary (I hope). I felt that I needed to keep the shots of the ghost or his running and sudden awakenings made no sense.
00:07:33 – 00:08:19
My tutor suggested shortening this scene with my character getting up and just leaving. I did not agree with this as I want to emphasise the two double-gangers; so I cut out a couple of shots a re-ordered what I kept.
00:08:19 – End
My tutor didn’t criticise this section but as a result of my new changes I made some changes here as a result.
I added a base sound for the POV shots of the second character as he is running to the groyne and I changed the sound to the scream in his dreams as the ghost lunges on to my character and I added the tinnitus sound to the shot of the dying man’s hand.
My new film is now 00:08:51 long.